School is starting and I find myself wrestling with a mixed bag of emotions. There is a part of me that is doing internal flip-flops for joy. With four kids ranging in age from three to eighteen, I have been yearning for a moment of sanity. A moment to catch my breath. sigh. A moment without all the chaos and mess that comes with our summer stride.

Like many moms…I feel the emotional drain of summer. It is endless hours of entertainment and hearing the words, “Mom, I don’t know what to do.” We are burned out on the pool and buttered movie popcorn. We have had sleepovers and playdates and so much more. I have taxied and towed my kids hither and fro in hopes of making it the perfect summer.

And yet, I find myself struggling to enjoy the ride

Summer is busy. It just is. Not the kind of busy filled with books and extracurricular activities. It is a kind of busy that puts a high demand on motherhood and finding things to do. Keeping your kids in check. Putting out fires. Hoping and praying no one develops a severe brain freeze (not from cold ice cream or popsicles but rather from the lack of picking up a book for weeks).

Why then, I wonder, am I filled with such trepidation for the first day of school. Why do I find myself saying, “I am not ready.”

I am not ready for carpool lines

or hours of homework

or large school projects

or some of the peer drama.

I am not ready for days of routine

and busy lunch packing

and piles of stinky uniform laundry.

But despite my hesitation, the time has come. It is here. School is starting whether or not I like it.

Maybe today you also are facing some hesitation. Trepidation to walk into a doctor’s office. Anxiety to go on a plane. Fear to say some long-awaited words of truth to a dear friend. Dreading to tread the uncharted territory.

Grab the hand of courage today

But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” Matthew 14:27

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

We may not have a clue what lies ahead or how we will manage to get everything done…but God knows. Let’s begin the school year off right. On bended knee humbly seeking more of Him.

How are  you feeling about the upcoming school year? I would love to see your back-to-school pictures!