What is it that you want out of life? Your latest fancy and pinning?
a million bucks?
a brand new car?
How about, plain & simple…some genuine happiness?
After being penned up in a hotel room for months on end with 3 kids, husband, luggage, laundry, homework, backpacks, jackets, sports equipment, toaster, blender, snacks, and who-knows-what-else was lurking beneath the pile of stinky socks…I could feel discontentment creeping in. As I looked around, I began to desire to have what she had. Unfortunately, I️ wanted to be someone else.
I desired to have a normal life.
And I wanted to go blow a wad of money at the mall and buy whatever I desired on a whim. To down Reese’s peanut butter cups until I could not stomach another one. And to hang out with girlfriends, laughing, without a care in the world. Also, I️ wanted to have a pile of cash ready at my disposal. Kids who would quit fighting and go to bed. A husband who didn’t have to work so hard to make ends meet. I wanted to go somewhere…anywhere…by myself and have a moment of silence. Also, I️ wanted to cook in my kitchen and eat whatever I wanted, when I wanted it. To watch a movie with my husband, in bed, without the kids lurking. And the loud people in the room next door to shut up. I wanted to be able to do laundry easily, rather than carrying it down the elevator. More than anything, I️ just wanted to be home.
But God had a different idea.
God wanted me to learn to depend on Him regardless of my circumstances. To lay down my life for my husband and my kids. And to learn my kids need me, in bigger & deeper ways than I had ever imagined. God wanted me to come to the end of myself so I could discover, “when I am weak, you are strong.” For me to laugh in the midst of the storm. And to trust that He was up to something good. Furthermore, God wanted me to see that the things of this world will pass away. Besides, God wanted me to turn to HIm when I was coming unraveled. Moreover, God was challenging me to find joy while greeting strangers on our daily elevator ride. And God was moving in me, waking me up to see beyond my troubled perspective. He was loosening my tight grip on the things of this world. God was giving me a thirst to want HIm more.
Despite my circumstances.
What do you want out of life? Is God working in you to want Him more?
Note: This blog post is a continuation of #mystory, “How Do You Respond When God Unsettles You?”