Swallowed.

my story continued….The power remained off for two weeks, which seemed like an eternity at the time. Bored kids. Tired mama. In the meantime, the insurance appraiser stopped by. I had extremely high expectations as rumors were flying of checks being written smack dab in people’s driveways. There appeared to be an insurgence of immediacy to complete paperwork and move on. Let’s wrap this thing up and be done.

I met him in the driveway and began explaining our list of issues, hoping he would show some empathy. However, it was evident from the get-go he had no intentions of being fair, let alone generous. He planned to patch our carpet and woodwork, paying no mind to mismatches in design.

CONFESSION 102: I LIKE THINGS TO GO TOGETHER, LIKE PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY, SALT & PEPPER…AND CARPET.

I was horrified! The thought of having two types of woodwork in the same room sent me melting. Really? Are you kidding me? And patched carpet, too? He definitely did not get a degree from design school!

I went on to explain to him the leaking roof and water problems we were facing. Unsuccessful, to say the least. He had me pegged as a dumb blond from our first encounter. To top it all off, he refused to go up on our roof for an inspection. Ensured me he could see things just fine without a birds-eye view. Declared everything looked just dandy to him. What was my big deal?

He drove away, and I felt discouragement come crashing in. Like a tidal wave, thrashing me around with the wind. I had a moment. Okay, honestly, I had more than a moment. I had two…and tears filled my eyes as I felt overwhelmed once again. Why Lord? Why?

“One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God.”
― Oswald Chambers

We all have felt moments where we feel like this world is swallowing us up whole. Oh Lord, have mercy, you know I don’t know how to swim! I wanted God to throw down a life preserver or hold out a hand. I wanted to see His blessed provision. I wanted to know that He heard me. My cries for help in the midst of suffering and pain.

Life presents us with conflict and we confront a difficult decision: What will we do? Will we trust? Or will we turn away? At such times, God often seems so distant and far removed. It is a struggle I have observed in the eyes of many.

Where is God?

You see, it’s easy to place our expectations on God…”I want you to do this my way.” However, I knew that things in this life don’t always add up. Life is not a country club. Nor does life always play fair. We can get hung-up and struggle to reconcile, “God so loves the world” (John 3:16). We can spiral into a pit of despair. Fortunately, we are not alone in our suffering. If there ever was a poster boy for struggling, it was Job.

“Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light then came darkness. The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me. I go about blackened, but not by the sun; I stand up in the assembly and cry for help. I have become a brother of jackals, a companion of owls. My skin grows black and peels; my body burns with fever. My harp is tuned to mourning, and my flute to the sound of wailing” (Job 30:26-31)

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