Candid Adoption Questions
Our adopted son, Comerson, has been home about three months. Daily, I am asked questions about adoption. Since there are some of you out there considering adoption, I thought I would share a few:
Do you love him as much as your other children?
YES! Are you kidding me…God just opens up this space in your heart and makes more room. It really is unexplainable. I can recall when I was expecting my second child. Feelings of nervousness overwhelmed me because I could not comprehend how I could love another child as much as my first born. But as soon as I laid eyes on our second child, I knew she was mine. My vast love for her was incomprehensible. I cannot explain how there is more room…nor how it is even possible. The same is true with my adopted son. I have this unexplainable, unconditional, unfathomably deep love for him. I love him just as much as my biological children. I crossed rivers, oceans, mountains and IBESR (Haitian social services). It took nearly 2 1/2 years to bring him home and if I had to do it all over again–my heart would not even skip a beat. Every bit of the wait is worth it.
Is he yours?
YES! Every inch of him. We are blessed beyond means to have him in our lives. He is an Allen and we have given him my husband’s initials. We may not have the same skin tone…but boy, he is 100% mine.
Where did you find him?
Every adoption story has an ugly beginning. Although our son was abandoned in the streets of Haiti, I believe before the beginning of time God knew Comerson would be a part of our family. God wove him together in his mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) and has a plan for his life (Jeremiah 29:11). I am blessed beyond means to be a part of my son’s story.
Is it hard?
Of course it’s hard. It’s difficult being a parent. Period. My teenagers are not always easy, either. There are days I struggle with being selfish and wanting to do my own thing. Since bringing a toddler into my life, I have thrown my back out. I wrestle with feelings of being left out from my peer group. However, thankfully, days like these are few and far between. Because words really cannot explain the tremendous bundle of joy I have been given. Comerson has made me a better person.
Did you always want to adopt?
No, it was not on my radar screen. My husband came home from church one day feeling incredibly burdened that we had been blessed beyond measure and should be a blessing to someone else (Gen 12:3). He felt God tugging at his heart to adopt. It took months and the prayers of many to move my heart as well. Looking back, I am placed in a position of humility due to my stubbornness to surrender to the will of God. Adoption has personally blessed me in ways beyond measure. One of those ways has coming to a deeper understanding about what it means to be adopted by God. (Gal 4:7-9, Rom 8:15, 1 John 3: 1-2)
How has adoption changed your life?
It has made me much more aware to the incredible need for more adoptive families to step up & step forward. There is a huge adoption crisis worldwide. Prior to our adoption journey, I really had my eyes closed to the orphan crisis. Oh…and one more thing…Comerson has helped improve my dance moves.
Feel free to ask me more questions. I hope to always be open and transparent about our adoption journey. It’s not always easy…but boy, it sure is good.