Sugly, the ugly side of me

Sugly, the ugly side of me

Sister Ugly, or Sugly as I like to call her, paid a visit yesterday when I least expected. You see, there is this monstrosity of a house being built next to us. It’s absolutely beautiful and stunning—so that’s really not the problem. The problem is that it has been under construction for 2 years now, nearly as long as we’ve lived in our home. I’m just tired of it. Tired of the noise and constant flow of construction workers. I’m ready to have my new neighbors move in!

Yesterday I heard someone ring our gate code. Lo and behold, it was the builder contractor for the house next door. He had one of his workers with him, too.

He explained that they accidentally cut our cable/phone/internet line. Only this wasn’t the first time. It happened back in January too and it took us a month to get it back up and running again. But that’s not all—when our phone was finally restored, somehow our phone number was changed. Getting our old phone number back was an ordeal in and of itself that took two months!

So, when I heard this bad news ooze from the contractor’s mouth, I could hear a battle beginning to wage inside my head.

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

This war broke out inside of me.

Intellectually, I knew that I should remain calm, cool and collective. However, at this point, I didn’t care what my head was saying to me. I didn’t want to! I didn’t want to take this thought captive! I was infuriated that this happened to me again…and I wanted the 2 men standing by my gate to know it full well. My head kept screaming, “Sue, don’t do it. You’ll just regret it! Don’t do it.”

The contractor asked me to walk inside and check if all our electronics (or as my kid’s call them, our “lifeline”) were out. I bit my tongue, turned to walk back into the house, and let out a loud grunt of irritation, stomping my feet grudgingly so that they would know I was extremely irritated. Yes, actions can speak as loud as words.

I first went to the tv and clicked on the remote. Instantly, the tv came on. Hmm, I thought to myself, that’s surprising. I picked up the phone and heard a dial tone. Hmm, even more interesting. Went to the computer and noticed it was running just fine.

Now, you would think I would be elated at this moment and shout for joy. Nope, I knew I had to walk back outside and apologize to those 2 men after I had made a spectacle of myself. And that’s exactly what I did.

I ate my muck.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15

Sugly—she shows up when I least expect her.

This ugly side of me. I try to stuff her down and keep her contained, but there are times when she wins. I confess, sometimes she gets the best of me. She often pops up when I think I’ve got everything under control, the going is good and I’m coasting. Looks like this gal needed a reminder today that she still needs a Savior! Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

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